Following on from the previous post:
I remember waking up one morning as this song playing from my phone – just one song in a playlist generated by Spotify’s algorithms. It infested my dreams with an incredible feeling of bereft need for SOMETHING. Tears in eyes as they finally opened to the total absence of resolution to the void “inherent in human existence”. This is not to say this hadn’t occurred to me previously, or been accepted (what self-reflecting millennial doesn’t have an intimate relationship with the void?), just that the morning is usually polluted with an unconsciously animated façade of normal animal existence – wake up, find food, do the things to make sure you can do that again. Accidentally make babies if you absolutely have to/can’t not.
And the need for that “SOMETHING” wasn’t god, or love, or anything so easy to define and brush aside as mere trappings of a weak intellect hobbled by conventional norms. It was… UNDEFINED THING I NEED. Meaning? But sure, there is no meaning. Like god or love. Just another social-psychological imprint on the neural pathways. Of course, being something of a melancholic chap, it went on to infect my whole day. It was a beautiful and horrible kind of day I have no real memory of years later except that this song was its soundtrack.